A few stories from other teachers.

One teacher once read a paper discussing the forefathers of the United States.  The problem?

 

“Our four fathers brought forth a new nation …. These four men ….

 

S.K. also wrote me an email telling me a story with which I am all too familiar: the cheating student digging an even deeper grave.  Here is the conversation she and her student had:

 

SK:  This isn’t yours.
Student:  I watch two hours that movie!
SK:  That’s great.  Why didn’t *you* write about it?
Student:  I write 1,000 words.
SK:  What does “magnetically” mean? (a word I knew he didn’t know, but had magically appeared in his paper)
Student:  I write in Arabic, and Google.
SK:  You used Google Translate?
Student:  Yeah.
SK:  No.  *You* need to do your homework, not Google.
Student:  But no did Google!  Why you say I use Google?!
SK: *headesk*
I actually had a student myself who plagiarized an entire paper.  It was so obvious that all I needed to do was type the first few words of the essay into Google, and I found the original source.  When the principal and I confronted the student, rather than admitting defeat, she tried to convince us that the website I had found was in fact her own site.  The problem with this little lie was that the website I found was SparkNotes.com.  I was and remain today fairly certain that my former student did not own that website!
A.V. shares a story about college:
We were in our lab section and were assigned some work where calculations were required to move on to the next section in the assignment.  The guy next to me asks me how to do the calculations.  The assignment didn’t require anything beyond distance = rate x time.  This was incredibly easy and I was surprised we were given this assignment.  But then again the professor is kind of a joke (this is Intro to Oceanography and it’s one of those “easy A” classes that people (I at least) take to fill their schedules).  Anyway, I tell him, “Distance equals rate times the time.  That’s all you need to know to do the problem.”  He goes to his work station and then shortly comes back saying, “What’s the division button on a calculator look like?” I sat there amazed.  We’re in college.
Beth in Texas shares these student reviews of the 1992 film Of Mice and Men:
“This movie is a good movie for a history class about the Great Depression or the Great Oppression.”
“This was the best movie that I ever saw on a Monday while I was at school.”
“If you like The 40-Year-Old Virgin or Pineapple Express, you probably won’t like this movie.”

And finally, Meg shares this geographical gaffe:

A girl said to me, “When I get out of here, my boyfriend and I are going to move to Amsterdam!”
I reply, “Well I hope you’re saving up for the plane fare.”
She replies, “Are you crazy!?! We’re driving!” And she looks at me like I’m the stupid one!
Everyone have a wonderful holiday weekend if you happen to be celebrating Thanksgiving this week.  Otherwise, have a great week.
-Mister Karabekian
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3 thoughts on “A few stories from other teachers.

  1. This one just happened today. Picture it: lunch duty, 2010. The kids aren’t supposed to talk for the first 10 minutes of lunch (stupid rule, IMO). I have one kid – good kid, but he just cannot.stop.talking. Because I was feeling benevolent today, the following conversation happened:

    “I’m going to give you a choice. You can get a mark, or you can forfeit your recess time for the rest of the week.”

    “I’ll take the mark.”

    (ten seconds later) “Ms. [Crocker], what does forfeit mean?”

    “It means that you’re giving up recess for tomorrow and Friday.”

    “…Can I just take the mark?”

    Let’s see:

    Inability to remain quiet for 10 minutes: one mark
    Substitute for getting a mark: no recess
    Agreeing to something when you have no idea what you’re agreeing to: PRICELESS.

    There are some things money can’t buy. For everyone else, there’s private school.

  2. W is right. I have family that live in Amsterdam NY. It may have just been a simple misunderstanding, this time on the teacher’s part, not the student’s.

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